What sort of constipated political system throws up as candidates (a) a huckster and (b) everybody's aging grandfather; with a process that lasts for over a year; for an election where there is no national uniformity on voting; and where the outcome might be more about counting Supreme Court votes than voters votes?

In a bad channeling of Captain Louis Renault, PM Jimmy Morrison said that he was "shocked and appalled..." to find that AustPost's CEO had rewarded its senior executives with Cartier watches.

Tax-What-Tax-Trump should pre-book an appointment at Centrelink (Washington DC office); see if Man With A Van is free and check out discounts available for Seniors.

Sharing a toothbrush with a corrupt former MP is not quite a hanging offence. But political sin is adjudged in the court of public opinion.

Turkey's Sultan Erdogan's described Turkey's support for Azerbaijan in its war against Armenia as part of the quest for its "deserved place in the world order." "Deserved place"? Hold the phone!

A megalomaniacal bully (belly full of raw meat), versus an almost senile gentleman (face full of Botox), fight it out for leadership of the free world, as it were. Sigh.