"My name is Maximus Votimus Andrews, commander of the Branch-Stackers of the South, General of the Felix Branches and loyal servant to the true emperor, Xi Jinping. Premier of a state without sun, premier for life. And I will have my vengeance, in this election or the next."

Police enforced social distancing laws at an out-of-hand protest on the Rye pier. Some 40 fisherpeople were a threat not only because of CV-19 transmission but more alarmingly they were carrying weapons that were disguised as fishing rods.

The winner of Wry & Dry's Luckiest Person of the Week goes to Emperor Xi Jinping. Runner up was Joe's Smashed Window Replacement Inc, of Mobile Office, Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, USA, just ahead of Fair Ballots R Us, The Kremlin, 103132 Moscow Russia.

It's not quite sending in a gunboat to lob shells onto Emperor Xi's front lawn. But his mind will be unchanged and the number of Cantonese restaurants in Britain will massively increase.

China has imposed tariffs on WA barley imports in retaliation to demands for a CV-19-pandemic inquiry. This is a perfect opportunity for W.A. to secede.

It should come as no surprise to any Reader that China has got hurt feelings. Poor petal. Damn cheek, those Australians, to suggest that there should be an inquiry into the source and management of the CV-19 pandemic.