Wry & Dry


Last words 

"Cry me a river"

-  Scott Morrison, Australian federal treasurer, responding to a journalist's question, "if the banks would be unhappy" with the new bank tax.

W&D first thought that Mr Morrison had said Crimea River.  Which would remind Readers that Tsar Vlad told Ukrainian officials to “Crimea river” following his invasion of the region in western Ukraine in 2014.  Readers will also know that the phrase 'Cry Me a River' is the title of a 1953 song by Arthur Hamilton and made popular by Julie London.  There is a different 2002 song recorded by Justin Timberlake.    

First Samuel client events and reports calendar



Art Series

NGV Winter Exhibition - First Samuel Private Viewing

Van Gogh and the Seasons

This will be a cocktail party followed by a private viewing.  Strictly clients only. 

NGV, St Kilda Road.

Invitations sent.


Education Series

Annual Forum

We have cancelled our 'food for the brain' event for this year.  And will focus on extra CIO Dinners for clients




Flash FY-17 Investment Performance Report

The first of our annual reports.  Has preliminary pre- and post-tax performance.




Annual Investment Review

A bespoke review of clients investment portfolio(s) for FY-17.

Hard copy & online



First Samuel 18th Annual Report

A general review of all aspects of First Samuel in FY-17

Hard copy & online



Accountant's Pack & Tax Pack

The timing depends on First Samuel receiving all of the tax data from security issuers in a timely manner. 

Hard copy & online

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand end of the bell-curve...

A magistrate in Llandudno, Wales, has ordered several punishments in April for David Roberts, 50, including probation, a curfew, paying court costs, and, in the magistrate's words, that Roberts attend a "thinking skills" course.

Roberts had overreacted to a speeding motorcyclist on a footpath by later installing a chest-high, barbed-wire line across the path that almost slashed another cyclist. 

(WXT-TV Chicago)

Thinking skills? 

Criminal defence unlikely to succeed

Wesley Pettis, 24, charged with damaging 60 trees in West Jordan, Utah, in 2016, was ordered to probation and counselling last month.

His defence was that, well, the trees had hurt him "first."

(Salt Lake Tribune)

Archived classic

British birdwatchers were especially excited by news in early [2013] that a rare White-throated Needletail (the world’s fastest flying bird) had been spotted on the UK’s Isles of Harris.  Being only the eighth such sighting in Britain in 170 years.

Ornithologists arranged an expedition that attracted about 80 of the planet's most dedicated, adventurous birders, who were thrilled as, indeed, the bird appeared again.  And then inadvertently flew straight into the blades of a wind turbine.

(UK Telegraph)

Becoming, as Monty Python might describe it, an ex-White-throated Needletail 

Have a wry and dry weekend