Wry & Dry


From the mouth of...

"...and the government will continue to cut unnecessary waste.”

-       Scott Morrison, Federal Treasurer, 2016 budget speech.

Thereby leaving the possibility of necessary waste being uncut.

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve

Jamie Keegan and Marc Shelton (both age 33) had tried to haul away a Halifax bank ATM, in Sale, UK, at 1am.  But it fell out the back of their van, dragging along the road, producing calamitous noise and sparks, drawing the attention of late night passers-by.

Bonus: the ATM had an 'out of order' sign on it.

(Manchester Evening News)

Sentence: 40 months each.

Not clear of the concept

Randy Velthuizen had lived in the house in Everson, Washington for 20 years.  But in April he accidentally set it afire while attempting to kill weeds with a blowtorch. It was an uninsured and total loss.

Mused Velthuizen, “It just made downsizing a hell of a lot easier.” 

(Bellingham Herald)

Things to worry about I

Obsessive litigant Jonathon Lee Riches asked a federal court in Billings, Montana in April to somehow issue a well-meaning “restraining” order against Donald Trump.

The idea is to force Trump out of the presidential race on the ground that Riches fears Trump will be assassinated. 

(KPAX-TV Missoula)

Possibly a well grounded fear.

Things to worry about II

The surprising results of the study carried out by researchers at the University of Padua found that widows suffered less stress and frailty than wives whose husbands are still alive.

Dr Caterina Trevisan, who led the research, said that one of the reasons why older widows are less stressed is because they no longer have a husband to look after, and there is less pressure on household chores.

(The Local - Italy)

Things to worry about III

In France an executive sued his former employer for making his job too boring. The man claims he suffered from “bore out” when his superiors downsized his role as general-service director and asked him to perform non-work-related tasks, such as picking up their children from lessons.

The existential strain of doing nothing led to months of sick leave, after which the man was let go. He wants €360,000 ($415,000) in damages.

(The Economist)

Have a wry and dry weekend


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