Wry & Dry


Last words...

"It was a fat pill from my mum saying ‘hey, you’ve put on a few, why don’t you take one of my fluid tablets'."

-  Shane Warne, former Test cricketer, in 2015, fingering his mother for him taking a banned drug in 2003.

Now know as the Warney Defence.  

First Samuel client events calendar

See below       
Chief Investment Officer Dinners
Invitations upcoming
Tue-8-Aug ARIA, Brisbane  
Wed-9-Aug ARIA, Sydney  
Tue-12-Sep Frasers, Perth  
Tue-10-Oct Centenove, Kew  
Wed-11-Oct Donovans, StKilda Lunch or dinner
Wed-25-Oct Quaff, Toorak  
Tue-14-Nov Centenove, Kew  
Wed-22-Nov Donovans, StKilda Lunch or dinner
Tue-28-Nov Elyros, Camberwell  
Wed-29-Nov Bottega, Melbourne CBD  
Tue-24-Oct Stillwater at Crittenden Estate  

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve

Jeffrey Vance was arrested in Anadarko, Oklahoma, and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol.  The reading of 0.18 was pretty damning.  But that didn't stop Mr Vance seeking to persuade the cops that he should be treated differently.  

"All I can tell you all is you all just be as nice as you can to me," Vance said, "because I am on the city council."  He didn't stop there, offering to pay a $700 or $800 fine, even bargaining his vehicle.  "Or, or better than that, you can even repo my car so you can make more," Vance said.

The evidence for Vance's comments? Police body camera footage.    


Guess the outcome

Retired New York Yankees baseball star Danny Tartabull returned to the news this week, because he:

a.  signed with a major league baseball team as a hitting instructor;

b.  criticised today's young baseballers as 'slackers';

c.  donated $1m to the Red Cross; or

d.  got caught evading child support payments by calling the cops to report his car break-in.

Close.  But no cigar.  The correct answer is d.  When he called the cops they ran a check on his name and found warrants out for his arrest.


The passing parade

A totally naked man walked into a liquor outlet in Poland and casually opened the fridge and takes out three bottles of beer.  And walks out.  The (female) shop assistant was too stunned to react.

But the man was caught in another shop stealing cigarettes.   Breath-tests showed he had 1.5 pints of alcohol in his body.



Have a wry and dry weekend