Wry & Dry

Miscellany

Last words...

"Keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."

-  H.L. Mencken, American journalist, satirist and scholar of English language, with his first rule of pragmatic politics; and foreshadowing the politics of the year 2016.

A hobgoblin is a term used in folk stories to describe a mischievous spirit.  

First Samuel client events calendar

Date 
Event
Description
Venue

Tue-9-May-17

Charity Event

Eat Street

This is Melbourne's most amazing food and wine fest.  All the proceeds of the event go to a charity.

Sofitel, Collins Street.

Invitations upcoming.

Tue-30-May-17

Art Series

NGV Winter Exhibition - First Samuel Private Viewing

NGV Van Gogh 2Van Gogh and the Seasons

This will be a cocktail party followed by a private viewing.  Strictly clients only. 

(We are not sure if Van Gogh's 'Self Portrait' - above - will be exhibited)

NGV, St Kilda Road.

Invitations upcoming.

?-August-17

Education Series

Annual Forum

This is our annual 'food for the brain' event.  Guest speaker to be confirmed.

Leonda, Hawthorn

Invitations upcoming.

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve

A 23-year-old man in Tampa, Florida, was hanging out with his cousin in September, and nearby were found a gun and a bulletproof vest.  And the result was predictable.  According to police, the first man donned the vest and said he wondered whether it "still worked"; the cousin picked up the gun and said, "Let's see."

The bullet proof vest didn't work.

The cousin, Alexandro Garibaldi, 24, was charged with manslaughter.

(WTSP-TV - St. Petersburg, Florida) 

Oh, deer

On November 17th, in Clarksville, Tennessee, an unassuming pedestrian along Dover Road was smacked by a deer that sailed into him after it collided with a minivan.

The pedestrian was taken to the hospital with broken bones.  The deer left this mortal coil.

(The Leaf Chronicle - Clarksville)

And the pedestrian had just hopped off the Last Train...  Yes, readers, it is the same Clarksville as in the Monkees song of 1966.  Readers will recall that the song is about a man phoning the woman he loves, urging her to meet him at a train station in Clarksville before he must leave, possibly forever.  The implication is that he was going to serve in Vietnam.  Clarksville is near Fort Campbell, Kentucky, the home of the 101st Airborne Division, which was then serving in Vietnam. 

Hoaxes

An "academic" paper composed entirely of gibberish was accepted for a lecture at the International Conference on Atomic and Nuclear Physics in Atlanta last month.

Prof. Christoph Bartneck of New Zealand's University of Canterbury said he began writing by (using Apple iOS) entering "atomic" and "nuclear" into his tablet and "randomly" following whatever "autocomplete" suggestions emerged.  Sample sentence: "The atoms of a better universe will have the right for the same as you are the way we shall have to be a great place . . .."

He submitted it under a fake identity: associate professor Iris Pear of the US, whose experience in atomic and nuclear physics was outlined in a biography using contradictory gender pronouns.

(The Guardian - London)

Bonus: The nonsensical paper was accepted only three hours later, in an email asking Bartneck to confirm his slot for the “oral presentation” at the international conference.  W&D awaits news as to the outcome.

 

Whatever child of Abraham you are, may Christ's blessing of peace and love be always with you.

Anthony