Wry & Dry

Miscellany

From the mouth of...

"Not to worry, Clive.  You need to make a profit before you pay tax.”

-       NSW Senator David Leyonhjelm, responding to a tweet from Clive Palmer: "We don't need more taxes, Malcolm Turnbull!"

The well-upholstered Clive Palmer was taking time off from his Queensland Nickel trevails to comment on the possibility of the states sharing income tax with the commonwealth.

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve

Susan Brown, 65, was supposed to be on the cruise ship Marco Polo that left Madeira without her.  So she dived into the Atlantic and tried to swim to the boat as it receded into the distance.  

She was found three hours later by fishermen about 500 metres off the coast, who heard her cries for help at about 12.20am.

(Metro.co.uk)

She was taken to a psychiatric hospital.

Things to worry about

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un warns his country-people to brace themselves for another devastating famine.  His suggestion for how best to prepare?

"...prepare to chew on roots of plants once again."

(UK Daily Mail)

W&D recalls that some 3.5 million people died in the North Korean famine of 1994-8.  Strange, South Korea was not affected.

Guess the outcome

A woman in Hartford, Connecticut, USA ordered a small pizza with half cheese and half bacon.  The delivery worker brought a pizza pie with half hamburger.  What did she next do?

a)  Say she really preferred what was delivered and hoovered it up;

b)  Didn't like what was delivered, and complained to the pizza shop, which sent around the correct order;

c)  Didn't like what was delivered, and went to the pizza shop and threw it at the owner; or

d)  Phoned 911 (the US emergency phone call number, equivalent to 000) and demanded they "do something."

Close.  But no cigar. The correct answer is d).  And the police did turn up to the pizza shop!

W&D is still wondering what is a pizza pie?

 

Have a wry and dry weekend

Anthony