From the mouth of...
"Sharapova is either the world’s most beloved drug cheat or the world’s most clueless multimillion-dollar athlete.”
- Christine Brennan, American sports columnist for USA Today.
Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...
At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve
Alex Smith, 38, asked a sheriff’s deputy in Limestone County, Alabama, at 3 a.m. on February 19th for a “courtesy ride” to a nearby Walmart, and the deputy agreed, but following procedure, said he’d have to search Smith before letting him into the patrol car.
Smith, needing the ride, reluctantly consented. The deputy then turned up a veritable drug supply store in Smith’s pockets, his backpack, and his duffel bags: drugs (meth, marijuana, and black tar heroin), two syringes, a drug cooking spoon, two marijuana pipes, a meth smoking pipe, and a supply of baggies of the type frequently used for drugs. Smith was charged with drug possession and trafficking.
Guess the outcome
Alec Ndiwane thought he was filled with the Holy Spirit when he decided to “challenge” lions at the Kruger National Park. The Zion Christian Church Prophet was at the park with his fellow church members when he went into a trance and began 'speaking in tongues'. The group approached the pride of lions while they munched happily on an antelope, but that’s when Ndiwane ran toward the lions.
Did one of the lions:
1. ignore Alec
2. roared like the MGM lion to scare away Alec
3. also filled with the Holy Spirit, began to speak in tongues
4. take offence at Alec interupting his meal and chase and maul him.
Close. But no cigar. The correct answer is 4. Fortunately, Alec survived because of the actions of a park ranger, who fired over the head of the lion.
Unclear on the concept
Several students at the Ivy League’s Brown University complained that classroom work was increasingly a burden, distracting them from their more important calling: organizing and protesting against various “injustices” on campus.
Students were under-performing academically (and suffering health problems and anxiety issues) because, said the students, Brown still expects them to complete course requirements even though they are busy denouncing racist columns in the student newspaper and challenging the weakness of Brown’s “diversity” policies (among other targets)
Have a wry and dry weekend