Wry & Dry

Last words...

"The bottom performers we look at pretty closely and we are going to have conversations with them."

- Helen Rowell, Australian Prudential Regulation Authority deputy chair, to a Senate estimates committee, speaking on the investment performance of superannuation funds.

Surely, there will always be bottom performers, like there will always be top performers.  Rather like saying that all children are above average.  

First Samuel client events calendar

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve

Willie Anthony, 20, and Jamarqua Davis, 16, were arrested in Kannapolis, North Carolina, in February after, police said, they broke into a Rent-a-Center at 2 a.m. and stole a big-screen TV.

After loading the set into one car, they drove off in separate vehicles, but in their haste smashed into each other in the parking lot.

Both men then subsequently drove the wrong way down South Cannon Boulevard, and both then accidentally crashed separately into other vehicles, allowing police to catch up.

(WCNC-TV0  

Undignified death

Clifford Jones, 58, was killed in a one-vehicle crash in Detroit in January, having lost control of his car because (according to Michigan State Police) he was distracted by watching pornography on his cell phone.

(The Smoking Gun)

Bonus: He was also not wearing pants.  

Compelling explanation

Seattle's Real Estate Services rental agency has informed the family of the late Dennis Hanel that it would not return Hanel's security deposit following his January death because Hanel had not given the lease-required "notice" giving up his apartment.

He had cancer but died of a heart attack.  Washington state law requires only that the landlord provide an explanation why it is keeping the deposit.

(Crosscut Public Media - Seattle)

Have a wry and dry weekend

Anthony