From the mouth of...
"I can tell you this - I am not going anywhere.”
- Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey and lack-lustre US presidential candidate, responding to the New York Times article suggesting he should quit the race and 'go back to his plow (sic)'.
The irony of his comment was probably lost on him. Indeed, he is not going anywhere.
Calendar of events for 2015 for First Samuel Clients
Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...
At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve
John Morgan, 28, and Ashley Duboe, 24, were charged in September with robbing the Savings Bank in Ashville, Ohio. Their apprehension was made easier by Morgan’s Facebook photos of himself riffling through (and with a mouthful of) his newly-acquired stack of bills (a “McStack,” he wrote) and describing his current elation: “I got six bands bra . . . I’m doing rrree=aaaalll good.”
Police were quick to find the Facebook page because Morgan was already on parole from a 2010 bank robbery.
(The Smoking Gun)
Unclear on the concept
The Merit Systems Protection Board is “a personnel court of last resort” for federal employees unfairly punished by demotions or firing - which is just what employee Timothy Korb needed when his federal agency suspended him in 2013 - allegedly for revealing at a staff meeting that the agency’s actual case backlog was much worse than it was letting on.
Korb’s employer, ironically, is the Merit Systems Protection Board, and in September 2015, an administrative law judge upheld his claim of unfairness.
Public service announcement
W&D readers will always be astounded at the number of shootings in the US. But there is another side of an easy-firearms regime: people who accidentally shoot themselves. W&D recently read of the following examples of stupidity:
- A 16-year-old boy, in the leg - for the second time in three months (same leg) (Tulsa, Oklahoma, September).
- A road-rager waving a gun at a motorist, jarring his trigger finger as he subsequently crashed (Estero, Florida, September).
- Christen Reece, 23, shot in the head demonstrating to friends the gun’s “safety” (Navajo County, Arizona, September).
- A man celebrating his 21st (and, alas, final) birthday (Dallas, Texas, July).
- A 49-year-old man who failed the “removing the magazine does not clear the chamber” test (Mims, Florida, June).
- Martin Hoyer, 51, who failed the “waistband is not a holster” test (Wenatchee, Washington, September).
- Thomas Javier, 26, trying to hide his gun (after being caught urinating in the street) and fumbling it, accidentally shooting himself in the perpetrating organ. (Brooklyn, New York, September).
- Donald Watson, 43, slipping a for-sale gun into his pocket and somehow firing on his penis (Sioux Falls, South Dakota, September).
Have a wry and dry weekend. Speak to you in two weeks.