Wry & Dry


From the mouth of...

"You expect a new CEO to go through the balance sheet with an iron brush, but we didn't expect a cleanup like this.”

-       Boris Boehm, institutional investment manager, on Deutsche Bank's new CEO writing down Deutsche's assets, declaring a loss and suggesting there will not be a dividend for the first time in 57 years to pay for the re-capitalisation.

Had it been an Australian bank, W&D suggests that dividends would have increased and that there would be a coincidental issue of seemingly attractive hybrids.

Calendar of events for 2015 for First Samuel Clients

 Events 9 10 15

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand of the bell curve

And once again, this time in July in Bergen, Norway, the accused was convicted of murder based on an Internet-search history.

Police discovered about 250 computer queries such as “How do you poison someone without getting caught?”

(The Local, Oslo)

Ultimately, the woman confessed that she killed her husband by lighting a charcoal grill in his bedroom while he slept.

Things to worry about

During a break in a murder trial in Lima, Ohio, in September, a jailer apparently absent-mindedly locked inmate -“witness” Steven Upham in the same cell with the accused murderer he was about to testify against (Markelus Carter, 46).

Upham was set to squeal that Carter had confessed the murder to him.

Deputies soon rushed to the cell to break up Carter’s attempt, with his fists, to change Upham’s mind.

(Lima News)

The jury is still deliberating

Unclear on the concept

David Lee, 46, snatched a mobile phone from a Walmart shelf in South Union Township, Pennsylvania on September 15th.  And then went to a different section of the store and tried to open the packaging with a knife.

The knife slipped and slashed his arm so severely that he had to be Med-Evac’ed to the local hospital. 

(KDKA-TV - Pittsburgh)

Bonus: a HazMat (Hazardous Materials) crew had to be summoned to clean all of the blood Lee had splattered. 


Have a wry and dry weekend



IMPORTANT NOTICE:  Any advice contained in this document is of a general nature only and has been prepared without taking into account your personal objectives, financial situation or needs.
Because of that, before acting on any advice in this document, you should consider whether the advice is appropriate for you having regard to your personal objectives, financial situation and needs.