Wry & Dry

Miscellany

Last words...

"My knighthood's been turned down twice.  I'd better black me face." 

-  Geoff Boycott, former English Test batsman and current cricket commentator, speaking a cricket event last weekend.

Always one to carry a large chip, Boycott was passed over for a knighthood because of a conviction for striking his then girlfriend, in 1997.

Readers will know that Ian Botham was the last English cricketer knighted, in 2007.  There have been 12 West Indian [1] cricketers knighted, each of whom, in W&D's ever humble opinion, were better cricketers than Boycott.  And gentlemen.  Ten Englishmen have been knighted for services to cricket; two given life peerages (Baron Cowdrey and Baron Sheppard) and three cricketers knighted for other reasons (e.g. Botham for services to charities).  One Australian has been knighted for services to cricket (Sir Donald Bradman).  Bill Woodfull was offered a knighthood but turned it down.

First Samuel client events calendar

Date 
Description
Details
See below       
Chief Investment Officer Dinners
Invitations sent
Tue-12-Sep Frasers, Perth  
Tue-10-Oct Centenove, Kew  
Wed-11-Oct Donovans, StKilda Lunch or dinner
Wed-25-Oct Quaff, Toorak  
Tue-14-Nov Centenove, Kew  
Wed-22-Nov Donovans, StKilda Lunch or dinner
Tue-28-Nov Elyros, Camberwell  
Wed-29-Nov Bottega, Melbourne CBD  
Tue-24-Oct Stillwater at Crittenden Estate  

Some lightly salted absurdities from all over...

At the extreme left-hand end of the Bell Curve

30-year-old Christian Koelsch, of Pennsylvania, wanted revenge on his estranged wife.  So he posed as her in an online ad that solicited a hit-man to kill himself; the aim being to implicate her in a murder plot.  The ad requesting someone to help her "take care of" her ex-husband, as he beat and abused her. 

The online ad company (Craigslist) reported the incident to the police.  And as Christian had placed the ad from his home computer, he, well, wasn't hard to find.

He got 23 months in the slammer.  And ordered not to have contact with his ex-wife and to complete domestic violence therapy.

(wjactv.com)

Perhaps some IT training might also help...

Guess the outcome

With nothing better to do, a group of five guys stood on a railway track to film (on their mobile phones) an oncoming train.  Guess what next happens:

a.  They all moved off the track well before the train arrived;

b.  The guys' mothers called them home for dinner before the train arrived; 

c.  It was a virtual train, and the guys were excited as it passed through them; or

d.  Four of the guys leapt out of the way.  The fifth wanted to get the best possible shots of the approaching train.

Close.  But no cigar.  The correct answer is d.  Both guy #5 and his mobile phone were smashed.  It took approximately two kilometres for the 118-car train to come to rest as the conductor fully applied the brakes after the train hit guy #5.  Estimate weight of the train was over 13,000 tonnes.

(Fox6.com)

Pierre: Be afraid.  Be very afraid.  Of your wife.

J. Pierre Henderson's wife was away.  So when he met a nice young lady in a local bar, he invited her back to his and his wife's Manhattan apartment.

When he awoke, she was gone.  Also gone was his wife's jewelry, including a $30,000 wedding ring and $17,000 Rolex watch.   

(New York Daily News)  

Bonus:  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose jewelry has been stolen by her husband's one-night-stand.  Pierre's wife is Odette Warder, a well-know local actress.  So the publicity, well, it's not going to help Pierre.   Hmm, imagine the payback.  

 

Have a wry and dry weekend

Anthony

[1]  The West Indies cricket team is a composite team representing a chain of 15 English speaking countries and dependencies.