Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been wrought to so many by so little. One moment a bacterium in a petri dish in Wuhan, Empire of China; the next destined to kill 3,247,557 humans, and counting.

Biden doesn't get entertainment. The proof is in the pudding: Fox Network stations are losing viewers to tractor pulling competitions. Yawn.

The tell-tail sign is that Tsar Vlad is showing his hairy chest, flexing his military muscles and speaking "thems fightin' words".

When Louis-François Cartier founded his eponymous jewellery company in 1847, he could not have imagined that four of his watches, valued at less $5,000 each, would cause such a fuss. But such is the unseemly blend of business, politics and revenge.

With the speed of Geoffrey Boycott at bat and surety of a child choosing which chocolate to take, Jimmy has taken five weeks to decide that women do, after all, deserve a measure of respect greater than the opening of car doors.

Earlier this week, Brad Battin, the hitherto unknown state Liberal MP, embarrassingly fell at the first hurdle of parliamentary coup success: being able to count.